Please, i need advice from people that have real relationship experience, no man haters, real advice plz!! :(?

I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year. My kids love him, my family likes him, he is devoted to being a family. Sounds great BUT we fight constantly. I can be in a relationship but I am naturally an independent person, I dont like when i feel like someone is controlling my life. I have to watch every move i make and every thing i say, i have to watch the tone that i have in my voice when my sons dad calls. He speaks his opinion and if i dont agree its WW3. I am torn. My kids dont deserve to live in a house with 2 people who fight the way we do, he has bunched holes in doors and called me names in front of my kids. I am an independent type of person. I am probably frustrating to deal with because I know I am capable of doing things and making decisions on my own so when we dont agree on something when it involves my kids, what i say goes and i will fight it to the death and so will he. I feel like we clash. BUT he has been absolutely great with my kids and he is a likeable person, so he has gotten me more involved with my family. I dont know what to do, stay or go? or any advice even if it hurts will be appreciated.